Reading Hogday's post on NHS medical secretaries' mistypes reminds me of a few I saw during my years as a lawyer (hopefully behind me now) -
1 - "..our client's property manager advises .... your client has advised that he will deal with the leek in the toilet himself"
2 - [address] - "Northern Rock plc, Ceiling Department, Residential Lending & Insurance, Northern Rock House.." [the Sealing Department deals with signing deeds]
3 - "We do not know if you are aware of this new procedure or whether it has in fact been leeked out by the Law Society.."
4 - "We have requested the title deeds from the Building Society and shall drop the Security as soon as we receive them." [presumably too much to hold?]
5 - "Mrs xxx (deceased)
We write to advise you that the above-named dieted on 7th September 1999. We enclose a copy of the Extract Death Certificate for your records."
6 - [in a deed] - "..the late xxx, who resided at Flat One, Upright, One thousand and Ninety Nine x Street, Glasgow.."
7 - "....The figures we have at the moment are £1,200 for your wife and £20.10 for the medical treatment." [the wife's not worth much, seems a bit harsh!]
8 - "IN WITNESS WHEREOF these presents are subscribed by me at x on the y day of z before these witnesses Mrs d, Housewife and d, Plastered, both of.." [a drunk witness?]
Ha! That reminded me of a very young defence solicitor at a court in Portsmouth:
ReplyDelete"My client's rather bad criminal record is largely due to the fact that the police from Central (police station) keep arresting him".